The interview charade we all play
There is an unspoken ritual that happens during the interview process or when you’re joining a company; it’s like a charade, with the person interviewing you and trying to recruit you into the company, pretending that you’ll work there forever and be endlessly loyal.
And the interviewee, the person trying to join the company, pretends that they will be endlessly loyal and work there forever, with no hopes or dreams outside of that job. And then you go through the dreaded ritual of asking where they’ll be in five years. “Oh, I’m going to be hopelessly devoted to the company and hopefully do a bit better than I am now.”
If you’re in your thirties or forties, you’ve probably done this dance a few times, and you know it’s nonsense. You’ve already had a few chapters in your career. You know this isn’t a marriage; it’s another chapter.
A more honest deal for a mid-career chapter
I think it’d be a lot more useful if employers were a bit more pragmatic. I remember having a manager years ago when I was starting, and he said words to the effect of, you are going to be here for one or two years, maybe longer, and hopefully you’re going to add value to what we’re doing, and hopefully we can add value to what you are doing, and let’s enjoy each other’s company whilst you’re here.
It was a very pragmatic approach to hiring somebody, realising that they’ve got dreams, they’ve got hopes and ambitions that might be outside of the company and outside the role that they’re coming into.
If you’re mid-career, that kind of honesty is quite refreshing. It matches how life actually works: this is a chapter, not a life sentence, and it should work for both sides while it lasts.
When your job lines up with your calling (even a bit)
The strongest employer–employee relationships are the ones where you can put your real long-term dreams on the table, even if they lead you beyond the company, and know your boss will help you get there. Imagine a workplace where you can say, “Long term, I might leave this industry,” and your manager still leans in and helps you plan the journey.
Not only is this supportive and honest, but Organizational psychology says if somebody is following their calling, or moving towards it, seeking it, they’re going to be more productive, happier, more resilient, and enjoy themselves.
So even if this isn’t your “forever job”, if it nudges you towards your calling, you’re likely to be better at it, enjoy it more, and bounce back faster when things get tough.
Talking about your real ambitions at work
This level of pragmatism requires trust. You need to trust your dream with your employer or manager. And the employer must not take advantage of that. They need to be able to work with you to say, “Let’s nudge you in the right direction and find ways to move you toward it.”.
That’s a big ask when you’ve got responsibilities and you don’t want to spook your manager. But hiding your real ambitions tends to lead to quiet resentment and burnout. Being honest about the fact that this is a chapter and what you hope it leads to gives everyone something real to work with.
That mid-career “Is this it?” feeling
The other element to this is that a lot of people working in a company might feel restless, especially in their thirties and forties. You might feel restless and ask, “Is this it? Is there more to life than this?” And I think it would reap dividends and make for a lot of happier employees if the company were to help them identify what that restlessness is, identify a north star and sense of direction. Even if your company never does anything formal around this, that restless feeling is useful data. It’s telling you something about what you want your next chapter to look like, and what’s missing in this one.
People might leave, and that’s okay
Imagine doing this at scale in a large enterprise, being honest about where people are at and what their long-term goals are. Building this as a company-wide policy and system rather than a 1-2-1 intervention between manager and employee. I hypothesize that you would see a surge in productivity, and I’d love to conduct research in the field to prove this hypothesis.
Would doing this at scale mean that some employees, empowered by their new sense of direction and meaning, leave the company? Yes, but they were going to do that anyway in the longer term. As an employer, you’re removing the friction of doing so and releasing a load of pent-up angst and potential burnout in the process. Whilst they are still with you, they will be happier, more productive, more resilient, and more valuable to the company.
My hunch is that the data would back up what many of us already feel: honest hiring and honest conversations make for stronger teams and happier careers, even if, especially if, we all admit we’re only here for a chapter.
What do you think of this idea?