There Has to Be More to Life Than This

I was on a walk in the mountains with some guys the other day and somebody said, referring to their existing career, “There has to be more to life than this.”

He was referring to having a mortgage to pay, family commitments, and how he’s providing for his family, but shoveling away doing something he doesn’t really like. It pays well, so he just needs to keep his head down.

Like many people who head for this mirage on the horizon, it’s like, “I just need to get to X. I just need to get the mortgage paid or reach retirement or whatever magical solution will be in the future. Then there’ll be an escape route.”

And I recognize this — there must be more to life than this — because I’ve felt it myself. This quiet despair. This dread.

It’s not ever-present. It’s something that pops up on a Sunday afternoon.

The psychologist Viktor Frankl used to refer to it as Sunday neurosis.

I had this friend who said he used to tense up on a Sunday because he’d had a really good weekend relaxing. Then he’d get tense on Sunday knowing what was coming on Monday, thinking, “Oh God, I’ve got to go back to that again.”

It’s amazingly common. It’s amazing how many people, despite a brave face, actually don’t really like what they’re doing.

There are these roles they sit through like, energy-draining calendars of stuff they’ve got to motor through, things they’re not really aligned with, and they just have to jump through.

And yet, the advice you get from your parents’ generation, which is pre-internet, is:
“Keep your head down. You’re lucky to have a job. Just keep going.”

But we’ll see.

The alternative? The fear is real.

On one hand, you’ve got the comfort zone: “I don’t really like what I’m doing, but what on earth would I do that pays the same amount and supports my family?”

And on the other hand, you’ve got impostor syndrome: “I’m lucky to have a job. This is a first-world problem. Stop grumbling. Keep your head down.”

It reminds me of the same sort of guilt that parents used to give about eating your greens:
“Eat your greens because somebody in Ethiopia would be starving and would enjoy that.”

And it’s the same message with work:
“Keep your job. Keep going in your existing role because you’re lucky to have one. Just keep your head down.”

It’s well-meaning advice, but it’s toxic, because the reality is that staying on the treadmill, in the rat race, in a job you don’t enjoy, is slowly killing you.

And I’m not exaggerating there.

The Mirage on the Horizon

When you meet this magic milestone in the future—this mirage on the horizon—are you going to be physically capable of doing anything, having numbed your way through life waiting for this “magic”?

Are you actually going to be capable of doing anything once you get there?

But I’d ask you to stop and think.

Think about your younger self.

With everything that you’ve achieved, what would they say to you today?

I bet they’d say something like: “No. What are you waiting for?”

Whose permission are you waiting for to do something about this?

What magic moment are you hoping will suddenly appear that will allow you to make the move to doing something you really want to do?

And get off the treadmill.

I bet that younger self would say: “Wake up and smell the coffee.”

Here’s What You Can Do

Now, if any of this is resonating, there are two points I want to make.

First, just to validate that this feeling is real.

This is not just adulting on a quiet moment. This is a real feeling that you need to act on.

Second, there is an escape route.

There is a way to find more fulfilling and meaningful work that you’ll feel happy with, without blowing up your commitments or family responsibilities.

It’s possible to pivot without disaster.

And secondly, this requires you to be bold.

If you’re too entrenched in what you’re doing to think about making that leap, think about your 8-year-old self, proud of what you’ve achieved and looking at you, wondering what you’ll do next.

And think about your 80-year-old self, toward the end of your life, looking back at what they could have done and what they were capable of.

Whatever you do, just do something.

Ready to See Where You Stand?

If this message hits close to home, take a few minutes to complete the Career Alignment Scorecard.

It’s a free self-assessment that helps you see where your work and values might be out of sync, and what small shifts could bring them back into alignment.

Take the Alignment Scorecard here.